You are a Work-in-Progress and That's Okay.

March 04, 2019

Hi. Right now I am sitting in my bedroom wondering what I am doing right or mostly wrong in my life that once again, I have found no motivation to be better. Right now I am just sitting and writing this entry with no direction on where I am going with it.

I am lost. If you have seen my twitter profile, it says on the description the words "perpetually lost." Because I am. I feel like in whatever I do, I always find myself forgetting why I am here in the first place and what am I doing with my life.

The problem is I don't know exactly what I want. I have spent the rest of my life learning new skills, discovering new talents and finding what else I can do. Basically, I wanted to be good at everything. Okay, everything might be a bit too much, but I wanted to be good at most things.

Jack of All Trades, Master of None. 
This is how I would describe myself. I am a graduate of Travel Management in UST but I worked in Sales and Marketing. I am also doing graphic designing, photography, modeling and freelance make-up artist, and doing this blogging and vlogging thing on the side. If I were to tell you all the good things that I can do, I can surely give you a good list of it but I cannot tell you that I am an expert to any of it.

Before I thought that it is better to be good at most things, but is it really?

I envy those people who already know what they want since they were little. I envy those people who chase their dreams because they have set their mind and heart in it. I envy them because I don't have that. I am good at many things, but my main problem is - I don't fucking know what I want.

I work and I work, but is there progress? 
It is sad to know that no matter how much effort you put into something, and how much time you have given to something just to see some good results, you just can't seem to see the good that's in it. You work, and then you get tired, and you ask yourself why are you even doing it in the first place.

progress - noun | prog-ress | 
- a moment forward or toward a place.
- the process of improving or developing something over a period of time

But when you come to think of it, since you started trying you already come a long way. You may not know what your destination would be, the most important thing right now is to never stop trying. One baby steps every day and the next thing you knew, you are thirty steps ahead from where you have started. The progress may not seem so visible, but when you reflect on it, you have come a long and better way.

"One baby step, Ann. One foot forward each day, and that's okay. It does not even have to be big, you just have to test the water and see it for yourself. "

This may not be true for some, but this is what I tell myself whenever my anxieties are back. Whenever I feel like I am no good as a person, that all I am is just a dust in this cosmic life. But I guess what I am trying to say here is, you are a work in progress and that's okay.

You can be sad today and worry about your future, and that's okay.
You can cry right now and not know what you want, and that's okay.
You can fall and fail so many times, and that's okay.
You are trying and that's the only thing you're doing right now, and that's okay.

It is okay because you're not giving up on yourself. It is okay because you are fighting for your own good, for your own future, for your own betterment. And that's okay.

Because in this life where everything is inevitable, and the only sure thing that you know is that every time you try, it is a good sign that you are on the right path.

So do not give up on yourself today. Wash those tears away, and try again tomorrow.
We may not always win the fight, at the very least we get to start again tomorrow and try again.
Just do not give up on yourself.
Just don't.

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  1. Hi Ann. I'm your Facebook friend. I really admire you and how you write, but most importantly, I'm dumbfounded by your eyes and your smile. I really wish I could take you out on a date.

    I'm sorry if I sound creepy, but don't worry. I'm not like that. I'm a decent looking guy with a decent job. I don't stalk you. I just feel happy everytime I come across your selfies on Facebook. Haha! I hope someday, I could muster the courage to ask you out for a dinner. And if God allows, to have my face beside you in a selfie :) Good luck to your endeavors Ann.

  2. Probably stop being a so called influencer, inspire whatever. You're still a typical attention whore. Go on with your private life and it would be better.

    1. Stop hiding in anonymity, you're still a nobody. And by the way, I never called myself an “Influencer” so try to bring me down again next time, but make sure you show your face. Maybe then it might be worth it to argue with you, or maybe not. Thanks for wasting your time dropping by on MY WEBSITE. Reading about MY LIFE. Bye, Felicia. ��


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