Love: Timing is a Bitch

July 01, 2018

It was one of those days when I couldn't sleep. Parts of me has been gone and incomplete again due to some personal situations right now. And one gloomy night, I had a talk with an old friend who used and according to him still have feelings for me. Our topic? One of the most cliche topic, love. We were talking about us, and how for so long he still wanted me. For so long, he is now just admiring me from afar. He knows I am happily in a relationship and he is mature enough to respect that, that is why he uses the words "admiring me from afar." And I admire him for that. Anyway, he is a successful man. He has his own business, a title on his name, a house and car of his own, and cute little dogs that made him happy. One thing is missing from his successful and happy life — someone to spend it and share it with.
Backstory. We met in a dating app called Tinder way back 2016. We talked, decided to meet up and had a long conversation over dinner. And just like that, he was hooked to my charm. At least that is how people who met me would describe their feelings. We shared stories, problems and secrets that you can openly share with someone who knows nothing about you and felt like wouldn't be judging you. And we did, we talked and exchange more stories that would make us feel at ease. In a short span of time that he had met me, he really felt something but I didn't feel anything. Maybe because he's a Scorpio too and two Scorpios dating is chaotic. (I'm a sucker for star signs and sign compatibility) It would never work, that's what I said to myself. So I decided to not pursue it. Along the way we both dated other people. It has been two years now and looks at where we are. He's still attracted to me, and me to another guy. And so began our conversation. How he is still attracted to me over the years. He told me stories of how he is currently been going on dates, but have not found that connection. He's not blaming me for being able to get connected to him. He has not just felt it again. And I told him that he should stop looking for love, love will surely find him. At the most unexpected time, with the most unexpected person.
Love is not about who, but rather when.
This is not a tragic story, but a story of how we both realize that maybe, just maybe, love is not finding the one but finding them at the right place and the right time.
You could have possibly met someone so perfect you thought that he/she is the one. Maybe you met him in your college days and when graduation came he needed to choose his dreams over you. The timing is not right, as the time for his dream has come and it is time to do something for himself. So you broke up, ended the relationship and you thought it is your one that got away.
You could possibly meet her but you're still getting over an ex, or still looking for yourself, and thinking that you needed time to complete you and the time is not right. You had to move on, and let go.
You could possibly meet her on her worst. She's drunk, she's broken and she's not herself. She plays the game and could not see that she would settle now that she knows how to control feelings of other people. The timing is not right as she has not learned her lessons yet.
Or you could possibly think you have met someone, spend the most amazing time together and it felt like a dream and just like that, the dream has to end. She has moved on before she could even break up with you and just like that, the relationship is over.
You see, in time people heal and mature. In time, people would learn to understand that the true meaning of love is not trying to find love but letting love find its way to you.
In order to mature and learn, one must feel the pain. In order to appreciate one has to be taken for granted. In order to grow, one must commit mistakes and learn from it. And it would surely take time.
And when the timing is right, when you thought that you would be getting old alone and single, when you have given up finding for someone who will reciprocate all of your time and efforts, fate will make it way to lead you to the right place, the right time and with the right person.
Right place. Right Time. Right Person

Could you possibly determine if the timing is right? Could you, for the love of God, know when it is already "THE TIME" that you have been waiting for? Yes, you could. When the time is right, you would feel all the possible feelings you could imagine when you have been cast in your time. When love has found its way to you, you will know. Because when it is the right time, you would feel complete. You would find yourself reimagining the world again. You would again try to do all the things you thought is not possible anymore just because you're not with your TOTGA. You would be able to bring her to your favorite place, have the taste of your favorite food, and meet your favorite people in the world. Because when the timing is right, you would be and that person would be himself/herself.
No, I am not saying that what I have written here is true. This is just my theory, and for me, when you actually think about it, it is making sense.
And so I hope you would stop rushing love. You would stop trying to look for someone who's not really the right one person. Stop trying to make things happen. Stop trying to find the magic, the sparks, and the bells. And please, stop being in love with the idea of being in love because it is blinding you.
Do not settle for someone who doesn't make you feel happy, contented, and secure just because you thought you are running out of time. Do not settle. Make the right decision of not looking for the right one, because in time the right one will find you.

Photographs by Neil FOTO | Neil Kenneth Sael

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